Rapper DMX Looking For Exotic Deals Instead of a Prison Sentence for Tax Evasion

DMX’s suggested alternatives as prison doesn’t reflect well on his skills as an ‘artist.’

DMX

 

DMX was pretty big. He had a movie called “Belly” where he was a demon or a devil or something. He was supposed to be catapulted to superstardom one year at the MTV ‘Music’ Awards. The thing with that though was that he didn’t show up. Unfortunately for all of us, Jay-Z got the boost. Look at where Jay-Z is today.

Check that. Don’t look, nobody wants to see that guy.

DMX? Well DMX is catching another tough break. He didn’t pay his taxes, and he got caught. Nobody can mess with the tax man. “X gonna give it to ya,” ya being the IRS. IRS ain’t gonna “Stop, Drop” or leave his ass alone til they get DMX guap.

The IRS unfortunately grinds harder than the Rough Riders:

 

Judgement Day

As rappers are ostentatious and always need, want or agitate for some type of special treatment, DMX is no different.

Billboard reports:

Attorney Murray Richman said in a court document made public on Monday that he wants to play a few DMX compositions at Thursday’s sentencing in Manhattan for the rapper also known as Earl Simmons.

The lawyer said the music will help U.S. District Judge Jed Rakoff “understand him genuinely in his voice” since DMX may be too emotional to speak.

Only a guy with a name like Muarry Richman would have the gall to ask for something like that. If X had the ARN lawyer and he really did ask for that with him, chances are he’d either leave or order some kind of hit on X during lunch.

X is in a tight spot. Richman is also asking for a special sentence as opposed to five years in the clink:

Richman suggested “a unique resolution,” including an up to 60-day study of his client by qualified consultants rather than prison, might help Simmons be deemed rehabilitated and enable him to return to the stage, where he can earn money to pay back $1.7 million in taxes and support his 15 children.

DMX had a busy concert schedule booked through July when his bail was revoked.

He pleaded guilty to a tax evasion charge in November, the culmination of a federal investigation that determined he had failed to pay taxes on millions of dollars in income amassed from 2002 through 2005 as his hip-hop records sold millions.

In papers filed last week, prosecutors called DMX’s crime brazen and sought a five-year prison sentence.

Earl Simmons will be sentenced this Thursday, March 29. We probably ain’t gonna cover it.

Being that they don’t allow electronic devices in some courtrooms, it is doubtful DMX will be able to beat the rap on this one.

He can get a radio in prison though.

Write him a letter!

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