I wanna be a “Patriot” Conspiracy Theorist like Bill Cooper:
I wanna be a Dickhead Patriotard and believe The Constitution is a Christian Document even though it was written by either the Atheist Paine or the other Anti-Christ Deist Jefferson. Then I’m going to construct a partially true but mostly worthless Conspiracy Theory and be an absolutely terrible dickhead about defending it. Freedom! I always wanted settle and marry to sme ugly weird and dumpy strain of Asian, a near wretched looking Asian woman and then have weird mongrel kids. Wretched looking Asians are the only ones that can stand me because of their low social value. It also helps me to fantasize I’m home on the range.
I believe we need subhuman Mexicans and borderline retarded Africans in this country ad infinitum. They will carry on the Constitution of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity which was obviously not a failure or bait. I have conspiracies about everything and I’m glad we destroyed The German Third Reich. Even if it can be completely proven those ebil Germans were the last Whites who still had sense in them, they were “socialists.” Therefore everything the media has ever told me about them is true and they never could have been good. They stood against this terminal age I think I know so much about but I also know Hitler had a micro penis that was stuck to his leg, one third of an inside out vagina and was a dictator. I believe everything the Jews say about Hitler and the Germans of WWiI because I just want to pay less taxes. Finally, I’m going to be a tax cheat cause this IS Murica. I’m not exactly sure how to read and neither does my low value wife but we’re pretty sure we don’t have to pay taxes anymore. I will not get shot in the face for not paying taxes. I have the militia, we have a few fully automatic weapons. We’ll just have our own country here on my ranch. My mongrel girls will never grow up without me. I will even have more children with them some years on. If I do get shot in the face, other fine patriots will play my tapes forever to preserve my legacy.
I wonder if I was wrong about the UFOs…